rainy day meditation

it's cold (and wet) outside

the local ensemble of wildlife was not too impressed with the weather here yesterday. the second i appeared in the kitchen in the morning there was a sopping little butcher bird calling out urgently to me from the balcony railing (later found out his whole family had already been through that routine once before he got to me!). when i took pity and went out to feed him a kookaburra came swooping in...then another...and another - all looking pretty sorry for themselves. and three of the butcher birds spent much of the afternoon taking shelter perched on the struts under the carport.

when i went down to the next level of the house a bush turkey was pecking at the outside bed (no idea what that was all about) and later in the day there was a turkey chase going on just outside in the same spot - think the mound isn't ready for his girlfriend yet. mama poss has been back wedged in her spot on the beam near the front door for the last three days. and last night there was a soundtrack of an owl hooting from the bush nearby and a curlew crying. sometimes i feel very very close to nature!

peek-a-boo

up for grabs

anyone need a pincushion? i'm still intimidated by the complexity of the whole quilting process (doesn't combine at all well with my pretty much nonexistent current concentration span and thinking abilities), so decided to begin with a babystep...found the tutorial and pattern - not that you really need one - in the round-about way i seem to find most things on here.

where not to build a nest (and snow peas!)

i was afraid this looked like a recipe for disaster when we spied a nest by the pool last week. mama bird, however, didn't seem at all concerned about the precarious position she had selected.

so there was little surprise but a great deal of sadness that met the discovery of a fallen nest and two broken eggs...

(apparently, along with all the other things i thought i would never do, i have become a birdwatcher - albeit a rather inadvertent/passive/opportunistic one...this was a blue headed honeyeater i believe)

there was some new life found today to balance the nest tragedy - the first snow peas of the season!

henri matisse

'there are always flowers for those who wish to see them.'

so...which look do you think suits me best?

(great what a bit of patience and a windy day can do!)

here comes the rain

this was going to be a place of pure positivity, but i'm starting to realise how unrealistic that is...would you even see the sunshine if you didn't know about shadows and clouds and rain?

although you can choose to 'turn your face to the sun' you still know there are clouds behind you. sometimes you try to ignore them and they just build and build until they are dark ominous stormclouds pulling you backward with their force and draining your energy, gathering momentum and demanding your attention. i think it's better to turn around every now and again and look them in the eye.

there are clouds with all sorts of shapes lurking behind me at the moment...some are XMRV shaped, some have the faces of all the politic-ing people who seem to be hampering scientific progress etched into them. some are full to overflowing with the lack of understanding and sensitivity i still find after all these years - sometimes in the most unexpected places. others still are there all the time, in one form or another, mirroring the ever-present grief born of loss that apparently knows no end. and just right now clusters are gathering unbidden as anniversaries draw near...

i respect their right to be there; they are a natural reaction to the challenges of this journey.

i know that i can't stare down these clouds or simply will them to magically disappear (if only!). but i can lie down on the metaphorical grass and look upward, feel the ground beneath my body in this present moment, and watch - with as little attachment as possible - until they eventually float on past through the expanse of sky.